by Matt Mayer

Monday, September 08, 2008

My gf's reaction blog!, my girlfriend thinks it is lame that I blog about my boring life. So, she has started a blog that makes fun of my blog posts.

She has also decided to start all the way at the beginning of my posts and catch up to me. Who knows when that will be? But, she's going for it.

I don't know how to feel about it really. I guess I could let it upset me, but I feel like she's just busting my balls, so no big deal, right?

Let me know if I should like stand up to her or something. They're a little mean so far, but also it's nice that she cares. I feel like she's sort of always looking out for me somehow. It's in my links to the right and this blog's title links to it, so help me have feelings towards this. Is it nice with a coating of mean? Or is it just mean?

Friday, September 05, 2008

Note to self

Bodily functions are more important than checking email.

I wake up from a serious need to pee, and I walk straight to my computer and hit the space bar so it wakes up and I stand there waiting for it to do so. What is wrong with me that I don't just go to the bathroom first? What is this obsession with checking the email?

I also check it often right after sex. "Oh, baby, that was the best sex we've had in a while ... any facebook notifications!?"

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Inspiration comes when you most expect it

Went to see 2Square today. Lutz. Grosz. Genius.

I went in expecting a lot. I had been meaning to see 4Square, then 3Square, then finally 2Square for almost a year now. 4Square inspired my favorite '06 DC Comedy Festival show, Chuckle Sandwich. Chuckle Sandwich inspired one of my original favorite groups, Dr Fantastic. So I felt I had to see and would likely love the group that brought on so many other favorites for me.

It is a rare occasion when anything at all meets expectations after it has been hyped up: a Five Guys burger; Ender's Game; The Dark Knight. It is even rarer when that hype has been built up by you yourself.

2Square met, shook hands with, and had meaningful intercourse with my expectations. Afterwards, my expectations took 2Square home to meet the parents and siblings (of which there are many ... Mr and Mrs Expectations get frisky, often), and 2Square had meaningful intercourse with every last one of them. Even Elvin Expectations, the bucktoothed, acne-riddled virgin (no longer) of the Expectations clan. My goodness, I've never seen so much meaningful intercourse, metaphorical or otherwise, in all my life. It was like watching every wedding night in America happening simultaneously in one house.

To say the least, I am inspired. And I expected to be, as sad as that sounds. People were right. I was right. They are amazing.

Go see 'em.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

need to kill an hour?

Go to youtube, and look up the video "MJ - Smooth Criminal (Complete)" posted by josedek. Play this on silent as you play ANY OTHER MUSIC while watching the video.

Start both at random, or from any place within them, and be amazed as the video for Smooth Criminal has so much movement in it that it can sync up with any other music.

Successes have included:
Torn - Natalie Imbruglia
Spanish Flea - Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass
The following theme songs - Perfect Strangers, Airwolf, Chip 'N' Dale's Rescue Rangers, Saved By the Bell
The Banana Boat Song - Harry Belafonte
...the list goes on